Ohh come on man I know this, I know dude I’m intelligent, I know everything, etc. These are the statements we utter many times either in front of others or in front of our self-right! We do not think before and speak out easily. But do we really know everything that we pretend? Sometimes we unnecessarily lie to save ourselves. Sometimes we rationalize our actions and form reactions to get accepted by others. We overlook some matters which are related to us and try not to get involved in them. To please others and live according to them, many times we kill ourselves. People live in sanctimony.
Situations come when we pretend to believe something that we really do not believe, or that is the opposite of what we do or say at another time. Why do we perform such behavior or make it our behavioral pattern? As we get older, we learn how to live in society by getting accepted, pleasing others, making them attentive towards us, and increasing their liking towards us. But wait a second, we just try to fool ourselves.
Why would we need to pretend something that isn’t even there in us just to look cool and smart to others? In developmental psychology, it is said that, as the child grows older, he learns worldly affairs and from that very point he shapes his behavior to get accepted. We operate through this mechanism at our unconscious level just like we form a habit and perform it unconsciously, we do the same for this. This kind of unhealthy psychological pattern creates incongruence and maladjustment. To avoid, discontinue, and break this pattern follow the following points.
- Know your behavioral pattern.
- Stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and ask why you behave in such a way.
- Find the reason behind your performance and adopt such a pattern.
- Whenever you try to pretend anything, give yourself a thought and try to stop slowly at that very moment.
- Try to stay real and clear in front of those people who understand you.
- Rather than pleasing others, first, please yourself to be raw and true.
- Know that human relations are made on the basis of realness not on hypocrisy.
- Do not fool yourself by giving defenses to prove you right all the time.
When you practice these steps, you’ll definitely feel light and happy in a real sense.
Article by Ms. Shruti Tiwari